Sharks gained their fame for it, a king regained his name from it, a fairy made her claim by it, Good Queen Bess lived in shame for it and a saint won acclaim through it. A convoluted route indeed, and for almost 500 million years the humble tooth has bitten its way to sustain the ocean's apex predator by aggression, until the present day when the sincerity or the falsehood of a smile can win or damn a relationship. We welcome a "winning smile" yet the poster-girl artist of the National Gallery was shunned as vulgar in allowing her sitters to show their teeth, while Darwin devoted his lesser-known book to the significance of the universal smile. Fairground showmen pulled crowds and teeth. Poets derived inspiration, drunk on inhaled anaesthetics. With x-rays, Sherlock Holmes foresaw the living dead. Tooth routes is a journey of eccentric mystery and curious history.